Monday, August 31, 2009

"Well, if you want to sink then I'm going to let you"

What a good night. For the first time since my newer life has began, it felt like fall. There is no other feeling in the world that I can compare to the first chilly day of the year. Fall is still my favorite season, despite its many drawbacks (return to school, mainly). It comes in the form of Halloweekends, Football games, that fresh feeling, long pants, fall clothing in general, the new music, just the way the air feels.

Tonight was spent with good friends. The kind of night that I should remember when I feel down. The kind of night that filled this summer and made it what it was. Here's to hoping for a Fall that matches it.

No rant or discussion tonight, that's it.

Music: Daisy and The Cosmic Drama. : Life itself.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

" You think that no one else is lonesome, you think that you're the only one..."

Glad to be home. Can not believe school is so soon. Need to finish summer reading. Hope this week is enjoyable.

Music: I know I talk about music a lot on this blog. The thing is, there is no other thing in reality that I can ever love like or as much as music. It is the only true connection all human beings have, and when you really feel a song or an album, there is no other feeling like it. What else keeps you guessing? What else keeps you constantly searching for new obsessions? What else can take you from where you currently are and place you at an exact moment and place in your life? Certainly not a person. I've been in love before. It is certainly one of life's most valuable and precious things, and I hope to find it again. It is a fleeting and mysterious occurrence. The singer and song-writer Frank Turner once said "Music: it's my substitute for love". For quite a while that line said a lot to me. However, after much thought, Music>love.

Sometimes it seems like I am the only one so crazy about music. I know I'm not, it is stupid and selfish to think I am. I just wish there were more people that were so fanatical about it as I am, ones I could talk to. I have Laura, and she shares a lot of my musical taste. But sometimes I feel like I'm preaching when I talk to her about the newest album or band I love. If I ever found a girlfriend who was as crazy about this stuff as me...Well life would be perfect. I just want someone who relates Weatherbox's The Cosmic Drama as much as I do. I want to meet someone who can talk to me about Fugazi's discography and how they evolved so much; how amazing they really were. Someone who appreciates Brand New for the great, if sometimes over-hyped, band that they are. Maybe a girl to talk about Okkervil River's sense of cohesive themes and vivid imagery they use on their albums. A person who can appreciate all the beautiful pop music out there, all the passion-drenched hardcore and punk, the endless amount of interesting and challenging "indie" music. Someone to recite lyrics to, hoping it means something to them as well. I know you people are out there. Hopefully single girls, but if not that's okay too (wink wink).

I should be reading the Over Achievers.

Music for the night: Brand New- Daisy : It happened. I have been waiting all summer for this album. All I can say is: wow. I will have a review written for this as soon as I can. Definitely worth a review. All I should say is: I love it.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

"After all, getting half of what you wish for isn't that rare"

Well, it certainly has been a while. I just returned from the beach about thirty minutes ago. The trip was was relaxing. What more could I ask for? I arrive home to find that nothing has really changed. I can honestly say I am already bored. I guess I did come home Wednesday for Coheed and Cambria, though, so it isn't like I have been away for too long. That concert was great, by the way.

So I can't deny it anymore: school is almost here. I still have half a book to finish, and some supply shopping to do. I am really not ready. This summer was really quite enjoyable, and the entire length of it I felt all of my scholastic motivation seeping out. Hopefully that changes when classes begin, but I feel a bit different this year. This summer has been a very happy one for me, and only contained a few lonely or depressing days. (most of which were recently) Either way, I am NOT ready for school.

Past: Lately I have been thinking about time. things change so much with the passage of it. This summer went both fast and slow; it seems like it went by in the blink of an eye, but when I look back at the last days of school, they feel like years ago. Looking into the future is one of the scariest things for me. Well, maybe scary isn't the word. At any rate, it causes me some anxiety. I really am just looking for happiness. Theoretically, If I just did everything how I think I should in the moment, it would eliminate my future problems, and eventually push the ones out of my past. Too bad there are so many variables. Most notably: people. Well I don't know what I'm talking about, so I'll deem this rant a failure and move on

By the way, expect blogs at a regular pace again.

Music for the day: Poetry of The Deed- Frank Turner : Really good album. His other two albums were both good, but usually hit or miss with me. This one seems to be more consistent overall. Pretty much an English guy that sings cool, honest folk songs. Check it out

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

"We are beggars, all"

Today was my last day in Allentown for a while. I hung out with Emily for a while, but otherwise nothing really happened. Sort of sucks, really. However, I did get my haircut. And it is quite different. It's about a half of an inch away from being a buzz cut, and I'm debating whether or not I should just take the rest of it off. Probably not. Either way, it is the shortest it's ever been. Interesting.

Not really feeling the idea of going away for a week during my last stretch of summer. Very inconvenient. Wish I could just stay home and finish my summer reading and see friends. Oh well.

We got our school schedules today. Save for a few classes here and there, I am not with my good friends nearly enough. It really does suck. Hopefully at this point classes will not affect my relationships with people. Seeing that there were only a few people whose schedules i really wanted to see has made me realize how my group of friends has become less expansive. I'm much better friends with about five people than I've ever been, but some of my other friendships have fallen by the wayside. Hopefully things will pick up where they left off with some of these other kids once school starts. We'll see. Either way, I enjoyed all the time i spent with people this summer. Thanks guys.

I guess this will be my last post for a week or so.

Music for tonight: Same as yesterday. After a few listens, I have to say that Beggars is a truly remarkable album. Please listen to it.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

"I drugged my heart with doublespeak. And all my misgivings disappear. It helps to keep my conscious clean. The ends will justify the means"

Yesterday (or the day before? I can't tell in the summer) was the first day I've been sad all summer. I don't even know why I was sad, it just happened. Luckily I am better today. I hope everything works out to end this summer the right way. It was certainly the best one I've had in a while. After a few nights of "debates" about my old trainwreck of a relationship, I feel satisfied. I think I win. Not gonna go on a rant about how much she sucks, because I'm tired of it. But I come out of it knowing I am the better person.

Wesley is here at the moment. I am going to the beach Thursday for about a week. So, if I don't blog later tonight or tomorrow, I probably won't for a while. I don't have much to say tonight. No topic for discussion. Maybe I'll do some poetry later, who knows. It all depends.

Until next time

Music for the night: Thrice- Beggars: I have liked all that this band has put out, but never loved anything. However, I have to say that this album has a lot of potential with me. It seems like the band has finally found exactly wanted they want to be, and it works. Definitely going to be a notable album from 09.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

"Well, it took a lot of work to be the ass that I am. And I'm really damn sure that anyone can equally, easily fuck you over"

The past two days have been pretty good. A party last night; it was alright. Today I had the first TFH practice all summer, and it wasn't as productive as I'd want, but at least we went over all our songs. Hopefully writing soon. We sure as hell have enough lyrics! (thanks to yours truly) Tonight I had yet another trip to Dorney. It was alright. Needed a 4th member.

Innocence: Do you remember that? By now, no you probably can't. I barely can. For me, the word brings to mind Muhlenberg Elementary, Soul Caliber II on the Gamecube, Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, and Dragon Ball Z. But that's not what it is... It's something we lost. It left with the sex, it left with the drugs. It left with the lies, the bullshit, and everything else that came into our lives around 10th grade or even earlier. Our imaginations decayed, leaving behind hollow shells that we now can only call "creativity". Yeah, creativity, sure. When did our attention spans shorten so much? When did sitting around just pretending turn into looking for the latest bullshit rumors. It's no more exciting now... There is so much more going on, but I feel no more fulfilled than when all it took was a Gameboy, a couch, and determination. The one thing that has stuck with me is music. I know I sound like my usual audiophile self, but... can it be argued with? In my case, no. My taste has changed, but the art has stayed with me. I don't love anything like i love some music. In conclusion- I do not know what I am talking about. I am having a good summer. I enjoy life. I love it. I love my friends. I love most of these nights. But guys, come on. LETS FUCK, LETS LIE, LETS CHEAT, LETS STEAL, LETS SMOKE, LETS FIGHT, LETS BREAK OURSELVES DOWN. At least we are LEARNING, huh? No. I hate it, it is fake, it is false, it is not real. Where are the real people? I know there is one hiding in every single one of you, so why don't you show it? I'm glad I am growing up . I am just a fuckin' kid in high school. I don't know too much about life, but I believe in what I know so far. *

Music for tonight: Modest Mouse- The Moon and Antarctica: You can't deny the classics. And I really think this is one of them. Not one of my favorite albums ever, no, although I do love it. But this album's sound can be heard in so much music within the past decade. Hugely influential. Really great.

*This blog expresses the opinion of the blogger, and in no way represents the feelings of any of his clients. In addition, Don't take him too seriously, he doesn't know what he is talking about and will have different opinions on life when the sun comes up. He is slowly finding his way.

Friday, August 14, 2009

"We looked away and everything was waves. We worked our eyes and they snapped back into place, but they never changed."

I enjoyed tonight! It was pretty laid back and relaxing. Went to the mall, then explored the evil areas behind department stores. Took a look at the old haunted Circuit City. Went McDonalds...talked and shit. Fast food sucks. It was cool, refreshing. Felt like summer. As it should.

As you may be able to tell from my previous entry, I was feeling quite odd last night. I'm starting to think it was sleep deprivation...but at the time I was thoroughly convinced there was something wrong with my mind. I felt like a different person. But I feel better now.

While at the mall tonight, I destroyed my broken phone. Thanks to the emotional support of a new, shiny, better phone, I could finally bring myself to smash my once prized possession. For some reason, the end of my older phone brought some sort of closure to me. I haven't an idea why, but something felt like it ended. Something that needed to end. I really enjoy this chapter in my life. I feel free, and I feel happy. Aimless for now...but maybe Limbo isn't as bad as they say. In small doses.

Music for the night: Crime In Stereo- Is Dead: Always saw this band and brushed them off as a nu-metal bullshit band. Couldn't have been more wrong. Really great stuff. The only way i could describe this album would be a more "punk" Brand New. Or maybe a more experimental Rise Against mixed with a tad of Fugazi and later Thrice.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

She's drinking poland spring?

Send me away, bubbling bitterly
Send me away not through the ceiling.

Don't send me that way...No, don't go that way...
The difference isn't related, and can't be helped

Just live it through, and make it out.
Live it through
Made it out.

Make out, stay out.
Set an alarm, let me know.

Once you're out you can't get in, once you're in you can't get out.
Don't sleep. Can't sleep. Wont.

Fever fever, alright...

He feels off.

"Give me a touch, give me sensation of anything."

Sick today. I have absolutely no voice to speak of (har har har). Mother has been sick, so I believe I've caught what she has. Damn. Got my new cell phone today, and I have to say it's better than my old one. So I guess miss Ott smashing the Voyager was a blessing in disguise. Looks as if my Brand New concert experience is really going to happen. I have 2 tickets and a tentative ride to Philly. Endlessly excited for both Daisy and November 14th.

Looks like I will finally be writing my movie-inspired essay for AP English tonight. That Thing You Do is what I'll be watching, and I love that movie, so writing shouldn't be too much of a hassle. I just wish I had more energy or motivation; but I suppose the lack of both of those comes with sickness.

No real topic for discussion today. Well, maybe one: Why does everyone care so much? Myself included. If people stopped caring so much about the stupid, little things, and started looking at the big picture, a huge amount of worry-weight would be lifted off of all of our shoulders. I know I have no right to be saying this (you can't imagine how much I care about certain people's opinions on me), but I just wish people could stop going out of their way to make people upset or anxious. I guess it all goes back to that "change" monologue i did a few posts back: Do what you think is right for you, and try as hard as you can to make your decisions free of too much influence.

Music for the evening: Broadway Calls- Good Views, Bad News: One of the best, if not THE best, pop punk bands out today. A band that has equal amounts of political statements and personal confessions. Endless energy from this band. Highly recommended, especially if you think most pop-punk sucks these days, like me.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


broke my phone


New one tomorrow I hope.

"Everything comes down to our needs and wants"

Woke up today and nothing was different. Not surprised. Fun day yesterday. Unfortunately, it seems as though I've caught a bit of a bug, and I feel like shit. Not gonna stop me though; I'm not in the mood to slow down yet.

Change: People are always changing, aren't they? Why would anyone want it any other way? If we are to experience anything, it will change us. The real trick is to make the change positive; to control it and contain it...make it a favorable change. Of course, we don't realize we are growing. Only others let us know. Once in a while, we find a fleeting glimpse at an older us, and it can hurt. But it can also feel good. My only advice is to control the path you go down, as hard as it sounds. Have self control, be wise, but don't waste away your days being cautious all the time. Everyone fucks up. Let it just happen sometimes. We have "mind things to waste", but we can't waste it all.

Let it be known to the public, that I no longer want out.

Music for the day: The Matches- album 4, unreleased; graphics? title? or not needed? : One of my favorite bands, who recently broke up. However, after seeing fan's reactions, they decided to release an album of unreleased tracks, and as usual, they deliver. Don't have the money to buy it at the moment, so I'm just streaming it. Great stuff.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Stupid Psychiatrist.

Went North.
Guys with beards holding plaid girls.
"Baby, what will you do when the pigs raid your island?"
Beneath the bridge, root for the underdog.

One way or another I'd wind up in a hospital
One way or another I'd wind down.
One way or another I'd lose
Two ways or three she fell.

It's ELEVENELEVEN and I'm here.
Not to stay, not the day
For once I can say I'm here
For once I can say I don't remember

Form, function, rhyme, meter, scheme, seems..

Fuck it, I want you, I want you to want me, I want you to want me to want you...etc.


"Well, Shakespeare, he's in the alley With his pointed shoes and his bells..."

I was glad to come home today.

I left Friday afternoon, and about two hours later ended up at my Aunt and Uncle's house in Beacon, New York. It was good seeing them and my two little cousins, and had a good Brand New inspired phone conversation with Laura that night. The next morning we left to complete out trip to Brattleboro, Vermont. After a grueling 4 hours of driving, we arrived at our hotel.

I have to say, the town feels like home. The atmosphere is slightly of the "hippie" kind (well, maybe not only slightly). Regardless, there was enough flannel and such for me to feel at home. Went to a great thrift store and got some cool clothes, and found a record store. The whole family went to visit a distant relative up in a mountain, and we ended up throwing rocks into the window of an old rotting barn. It was a good time.

I saw quite a few girls in Brattleboro that interested me. Got a few looks, which is always promising. But, of course, I am not quite confident enough. Ha. I ate mostly tofu the entire time. Man, do I love tasteless food. Seriously.

Long story short, I had a good time. Hoping to do fun things this week, and of course get some summer reading shit done.

Until next time.

Musix for tonight: Bob Dylan- Blonde On Blonde: Amazing. One of the older musicians that actually lives up to the hype. Great, great lyrics. Soundtrack to my Vermont trip.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

"I made some friends of friendly girls and boys. Amongst all the noise."

Skipped a day. Proud?

Went to Musikfest for the second time last night. The first time was better. It was fine at first, until a few people whose company I do not really enjoy anymore showed up. Turned into a rather awkward night. Happens, I guess.

Tomorrow I will be leaving to, first, visit my aunt and uncle's in New York, then up to Vermont until Monday. My family's (usually..) annual trip up to the state is always a fun experience. We fit enough shit into 2 days that it becomes almost impossible to be bored. The town we visit is probably the most hippie-like place I have ever been. Proves to be very good for music, book, and thrift store shopping. Hopefully something interesting will happen up there that I can blog about upon my return.

A trip to Philadelphia is in the works for mid-November to see Brand New. I don't think anyone understands how happy that show would make me. The challenging part will be buying tickets before they inevitably sell out...

A wave of nostalgia hit me last night. It was almost random, really. I am so much happier with my life now, but sometimes you just miss having someone, you know? Good thing I got over it quick. I guess only time will tell what this year brings me.

Sorry for the lack of any real substance to this post.

See you Monday.

Music for the day: Dr. Manhattan- Jam Dreams: Got into this band last year. The debut could be found somewhere between weird "indie" and pop-punk. However, on this newest album the band pretty much took everything weird about the debut, multiplied it by 10, and removed anything that fans might have expected. Delightfully weird, fun, and refreshing. Check it out.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

"I've got desperate desires and unadmirable plans"

I should really get moving on my summer reading assignments. I guess I just don't feel like summer is even close to being finished. I always end up finishing though, so I'm not worried.

This blog has given me a reason to write again, so I am very thankful for that. As i mentioned in a previous post, writing is really one of my favorite ways to pass the time; not to mention my dream job. Being a music journalist would be the best job for me....too bad it's a dying field. Speaking of writing: my once river-like flow of lyrics seems to have dried up. Not saying I have any real talent for writing poetically, but I do enjoy it. Hopefully once TFH gets back on its feet my lyrics will return.

I don't get along with my mother too well. It's odd, because I'm not the kind of person to ever complain about my parents. I have a really good home life compared to a lot of people. But, I just can't deny that anymore. Our personalities clash so much, and it is really having a bad effect on my family. I don't know what to do. I know i can be an asshole to her sometimes, but she just over reacts and to everything. I'm not trying to play the "oh, I don't get along with my parents, woe-is-me" card... but it's just gotten very, very bad lately. I feel terrible, because my dad always ends up caught in the middle. The strange part is how similar me and my mother are. But I guess that only fuels the arguments.

The future is looking rather abstract. I once had such a set-in-stone idea of what my high school career would look like. Now, I have no idea. I like it this way. I just want happiness. I need to quit this awful habit of laziness I have somehow fallen into. I think I'm going to try this year. I don't doubt that I'll fall right back into my comfortable boredom and laziness, but I am going to try...hard. I want to succeed. I don't want to be an overachiever, just an achiever. I may be one now (I get fine grades...), but it doesn't feel like it to me. And that's what counts: what I think of myself.

Music for the day: Brand New- Deja Entendu: With the approach of Daisy, I've been listening to this band non-stop. Although I like the band's newer, more experimental side, I cannot deny that I absolutely love this album. One of my favorites. For me, it'll always be a classic.

Monday, August 3, 2009

When i don't say things I heave and ho, I to and fro. I never float gently, i never merrily row

Today I woke up early after having stayed up late. Real fun. Went to get my MRI, turns out my brain is normal. Go figure.

Hung out with Laura tonight. Ordered chinese food. Didn't do too much, it was rather uneventful. Still good to hang out though. Don't have much to say tonight. Do you?

Music for tonight: Weatherbox- The Cosmic Drama : One of the most creative, honest albums I've heard in a long time. Only have it on CASSETTE at the moment, but even so, I've been listening to it so much. This album defines this point in my life.

Sunday, August 2, 2009



"Fuck it, it's done. It's time to make us a sun."

Sitting here, I have come to realize a lot. I spent a good night with a girl. I enjoyed it. Human to human conversation is the most subtle, pure art form that exists. Nothing comes close. I hope to have more nights like this in the future. It's what summer is about.

Love? I've been in it. But fuck romance, that isn't the point of this post. I love a few people. These few have had my love for either my whole life, or for quite a while. I sincerely hope that they will always be in my life, no matter where future girlfriends lead me. There is nothing else to say.

Getting an MRI tomorrow. Had headaches almost everyday a week or so ago. It was awful. Just checking to make sure everything is alright up there. No worries.

Music for tonight: Neva Dinova- You May Already Be Dreaming: Thoughtful, sad "country" to set the mood.

"I was looking at you there and your face looked wrong, Memory is a fickle siren song"

I probably will not be updating this as often as I am currently. It will hopefully become more of a bi-weekly sort of thing. But, since I'm just starting out, I figure I might as well write more than usual.

Woke up today feeling like it was really early. Turns out I woke up at 11:30. I'm feeling a bit off today, maybe it's the shitty weather. Anyway, the rest of my summer is looking pretty good. Vermont on Friday, Coheed and Cambria later this month, hopefully just doing as much as i can. I can't deny that I am looking forward to Fall. Not school, just the season. I miss writing. I started a story about a month ago, but I'm starting to think it'll be a throw away. I need some inspiration. Not to mention I should start writing lyrics again, for TFH. Speaking of TFH, we really need to get practicing again. Recording and shows need to happen soon...

I'm hoping that once this blog become more of a regular thing, I'll discuss real events in my life and rant about real topics. However, until then, it looks as if it'll be me talking about life and shit.

Music for the day: Fleet Foxes- Fleet Foxes: Saw this band live last Thursday. I can honestly say it was one of the best concerts I have been to. The band's harmonies were perfect, and the songs sounded about twice as good live. Seeing them live has made me appreciate this album so much more.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

"If the lord is gonna find me, He better start looking today."

I guess I will need to fancy this thing up someday... Or not. We'll see. What is there to write about tonight? I know my last post was about an hour ago, but we won't count that one. I am a teenage boy, so my posts will not include any real insights into life or anything like that. But I want to document this year. And hopefully even farther into the future.

Summer 2009: I know it isn't over yet, but I feel like it's a topic that needs discussing. Sure, I've been having my fair share of prototypical "boring summer days", but I am thoroughly satisfied with this summer so far. After having grown drastically and suddenly apart from someone who (at one point) meant quite a bit to me, I have grown closer to my other friends; the ones that count. This summer has brought on so many nights of fun, even if they came in the form of just wandering about the town. There are so many people in my life that probably will not ever know how much they affect me. I can honestly say I am happy where I am in life right now.

Music for the night: fun. - Aim and Ignite. : About as far into the pop dimension as my library goes. However, it is not easy to find an album that is so addicting; an album that literally drags you back for another listen. Recommended.


Created this to display my thoughts and opinions and ideas. Will post when those things come to me. Hope you enjoy?