Saturday, February 27, 2010


After the sun rises, I rise.
I can begin without hesitation.
I eat my breakfast, I move through the day.
Nothing is chained to me.

By noon, I reach the top.
I am the son, I am the friend.
I sway with the music, I absorb the light.
Nothing is chained to me.

As the sun sets, I settle in.
I can feel the warmth, the comfort.
I strum and I love, each thought a work of art.
Nothing is chained to me.

As night coils itself around me,
I feel my breath grow shallow.
I quiver, I shake, and I stare. I struggle.
I am chained to the floor.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

On This Sea

Every tug and yank at my line
Leads to nothing but another example of
The endless ebb and flow of the waves.
There are no fish in that water.
(Maybe a shark, maybe a stone)
There will be no feast tonight,
There will never be a feast on this sea.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Just The Usual...

Suck the sparks from the grinding metal.
Look like something I can't be,
Sway with the bruised violins.
If I had a rag, I could wipe the honey
That drips from my pores.

If I could think of beauty today, I would.
Would take it from under the bridge.
Can't breathe without a cottage in the woods.
If I had a book, I'd love to get it signed
By the space that you don't occupy.

I miss the way you had known me so well, and all.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Lenses, Honey, and Businessmen

I was spat onto this slab of tile.

Every hour since then, I’ve been chasing.

I’ve been chased. I’ve yelled to the mountain’s peak.

The rocks, stones, and boulders have always come calling.

They love me so much, and I love them. They couldn’t

Crush me, not even if I slipped (if I fell).

As the avalanche surrounds me, every day,

My rocks, my stones, my boulders may break my lenses.

They may poison my honey. And they may fire my businessmen.

But the only reason my bones, my brain, my “soul” remains is,

Well, I tell them that it’s all off limits. They respect me.

I hope they respect you too. I’ve waited for 1717,

And I’ve reached it. My God, I’ve finally reached it.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Pea Soup parts I&II

A thick fog permeated the streets.
Not a single man nor rat could see a thing.
They stayed indoors, they waited for clarity.
As the hours passed, the fog grew
Thicker, stronger, until all that was left of
The town was a blank white cloud.

I can't see a thing.
I pace back and forth,
Outside of the window,
Nothing, not south or north.
You cry, we cry. I storm out
Into the white street.
A man lies in my way, I trip.
A shout of pain I hear, but...
I keep walking, into walls, stumble
Over curbs and disregarded belongings.
There is a light at the end of my block.
It alone pierces through the solid white.
If I reach it maybe... No. Just a neon sign.
Advertisement for a local diner. I hear
Screams, a loud crash; a car hitting a wall,
I assume. Maybe I'll just lay down.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

For once, I don't seem to have anything to say, to cover in dirt and metaphor.
Maybe it's because I don't believe a word of it anymore.
Catharsis has lost its charm, I long to bring it back.
This is no hiatus, no break. Just a change in direction.
Expect great things.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


It is all just a process: break in, decay, break out. Sure, it sounds is. Decay is a strange word isn't it? All it means to most people is, well, "to break down, to deteriorate". Not to me; decaying is life itself. We all decay, every hour of every day. We start out wet, naked, and pure. We are held tightly by a -hopefully- loving figure; the only other person we had ever known up until then. We break in. We are screaming, writhing, bloody, and new. We break in. Then we begin to decay. Decay, decay, decay. Every single hour, every minute, of every day. As we grow, we fall apart. We learn and we get to know just how this existence really works. Is it terrible, disgusting, sad, and sick? Of course it is, it reeks of decay. Is it beautiful, wonderful, memorable? Yes. Maybe you think you get wiser, but are you ever really any wiser than you were at the beginning? Darker perhaps, a little less whole, perhaps. The absurdity of everyday human life: the ecstatic highs, the crushing lows... What can it all mean? It all chips away at you, like waves on a cliff's edge.

Life is only a descent. But it does it follow any laws? Are there any rules of science that apply to the human experience? I'd dare to say no. It is the only descent that ascends. As you gain, you lose. The more you know, the less you truly understand. You decay for years. You know this, and you know all of that. Eventually, you break out. By that point, you will have gained enough knowledge of this existence, spent enough time wandering about, to be afraid of leaving the very same way you came. We all break out. Do any of us know what happens next? Of course not. We are creations of decay, and our race will forever stay as such. But in the end... What else would you expect?

Monday, February 8, 2010

I guess this year isn't so bad after all.

It is decidedly so,
I am content with whatever road down which i go.
The eyes that once tore me apart,
Now leave not a single bruise.

Coming of age,
I cannot feel a single change, but I see them in you.
All those eyes that glared at me,
Cannot even enter my mind.

A few years,
Of toil and fear, shed not a drop of blood from me.
Every eye that ever met mine,
Has been forgiven.

Clich├ęs begin to pile up,
But I can see in all of your faces that I am real.
I may write through a broken lens,
But I believe in it.

Without an even number,
I tend to shut down, I tend to fall into old habits.
All of your eyes are on me,
And I am quite fine.

Ideal American Citizen

Shall I show you around? I know it's been a while. You look tired. Might I offer you a cup of coffee? No? All right. I do hope you stay a while, you know how lonely I get around here. Ever since you and the rest left town, well, I just don't feel the same. All I've really got is silence, a typewriter, and time. I guess those things can work magic for some, but my mind has been rather elusive. So, where have you been? Are you well? Oh, how odd. You sure have lost a bit of your spark, haven't you? These equations of yours unsettle me, friend. I understand how proud you are, but... you were always so abstract. These calculations and pencil marks just hinder you, and you know that.

Oh, Susan? No... she passed away about two years ago. I still keep her around, though. It doesn't help much, but... I'm sure you understand. Are you all right? You look just a bit green. I'll get you a glass of water.

(30 seconds spent in kitchen)

Here you g- Now where might he have run off to? Ah, probably just taking a look upstairs. Bill? George? Eric? He must be here somewhere...

(walks up flight of stairs, stairs lead to nothing, falls off into pile of wood and old furniture)

Ah... I've taken a spill. Where in the world am I? I must have hit my head. I suppose I should just lay here for a bit until I collect myself. I'm sure Frank will come, either way. He must be using the bathroom.

(a dirty, naked man can be seen in the rubble of a half decayed house. he screams incoherent sentences, containing mostly male names and nouns. the man rises to his feet after a few minutes of struggle.)

Oh, forget that fool. He's probably just gone home. I knew he had changed, the bastard... To leave an old friend all alone! The very thought! I... What's that? In the distance... My God. The... the face. The jaws... Help me! Someone! Isn't there a person left in this damn town?

(after rising to his feet, the man had walked only a few paces before falling into a puddle of what looks like mud and urine. he screams for a few minutes, none of it intelligible. in his writhing insanity, a beam from the decrepit house breaks loose from ten feet above, falls, and crushes the man's head.)

Monday, February 1, 2010

An update.

I will no longer be using this blog to talk about my life, it will be strictly a poetry and writing page. If you want to know about my life, you know how to reach me. Maybe I'll create a new blog for that purpose, someday.

Ben's Blues

I am so tired of ejaculating these sterile, dark words.
They paint this world a dark blue, they sometimes scare me.
I saw a sliver of light, and I grabbed it. It was slippery.
I don't have the endurance, I was never much of an athlete.
If this is how it must be, Lord, then I can't believe in you.
I can't believe in a man who would leave his children in this tar pit.
I'll be excavated in a few million years. Leave me be.
When I'm pulled from the depths, all black and fossil,
I will be new, I will be happy. I will love again.