You're fucking fired.

Dear sirs,

With all due respect, I have lost interest in further continuing your branch's involvement in this company. It has grown tiresome and repetitive. I have been trying to decrease your influence in the company for a substantial bit of time now, and I thought I should let you know just how tired I am of your sickening attitudes. Every insignificant twitch or stitch or pain in our company's functions is analyzed and torn apart by your supposedly expert branch. I am not convinced. These glitches in our usually smooth existence should be treated as what they are: negligible. Every time you fools roll around to the main office, you attack us with possible scenarios, unlikely situations, and unnecessary concerns. In fact, we have lost customers and investors because of your consistently negative outlook! We have all become so preoccupied with the unlikely but possible worst-case scenario list of yours, that we have almost no profits at all anymore. The company is bankrupt, and unless something changes soon, we are going under without hope of return. In simpler turns: you can't quit, you are FIRED.

Vehemently yours,
BEN H. ROYLANCE